“You have a choice regarding the facets of your self-image & level of self-esteem. It’s like shopping in a department store with unlimited credit. How would you like to gift yourself?”….Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
I address the workshop about the above quote. In other words, what works for you & what doesn’t? In order to know what you want, first, you have to complete a self-evaluation or assessment.
THE ART OF SIMPLY NOTICING
We want to bring the beast out into the sunlight where we can study it in detail. We cannot change what we cannot see. Like anything else, we need to become fully aware, really getting to know this part of ourselves.
Through keen observation, you will become acutely sensitive to the fact that you are not your inner-beast, but rather his/her observer. This is KEY in order to change. If not, the self-image & esteem become like coats that can’t be unbuttoned.
As your awareness develops, you will begin to enjoy yourself more & more in your everyday life. Certain characteristics of the beast will begin to stand out. He can appear as your best friend but left to his own devices, he can make you miserable. He will promise happiness, but lead you to periods of intense anxiety, sadness, anger & eventually emptiness.
You will start to observe that the beast has a very complex scheme of rules, regulations, shoulds & ought to’s. He’ll quietly tell you that if you don’t do what he tells you, no one will love you, that you must be number one, you must strive for perfection, you should not show anger, you should be grateful for everything & anything because basically, you are undeserving. In addition, you should submerge yourself in self-doubt & worry. He will ardently keep you thinking in the past & future, as far away as possible from the real world & the present moment.
BEAST BELIEF SYSTEMS
The beast or negative self-esteem has some strange ideations that are woven into his belief systems. These are presented to you as truths. Here are a few examples.
Your true self is unlovable; fast is good & slow is bad. To show sadness is to be weak or childish or unreliable or overly dependent. Nice girls don’t enjoy sex & certainly, nice girls don’t show that they enjoy sex. Asking for what you want is selfish. Showing anger is sinful, childish, unprofessional & totally unacceptable. Something terrible is going to happen. Men are better leaders than women. Worry has value. Anxiety has value. Guilt has value.
BRINGING THE INSIGHT HOME
I ask the group to think about their own beliefs that have been presented as truths by their beast-in-residence.
Taming the beast is simple, but not easy. Becoming aware or learning to pay attention to your thoughts, thought patterns & habits is a good beginning. The art is to simply notice & not to get involved in thinking about what you are noticing.
How does one do this?
You might like to practice with inanimate objects to get a real feel for the process. Choose any object in your view. Pretend that you are a camera & carefully study the object from all angles. Pretend that you have never seen it before. Examine the shape; how does it feel; what about the texture; how does the light hit it from different angles? This is the way you want to begin to look at your thoughts & judgments.
These are focusing exercises or exercises in concentration. You may find it easier to do them in a quiet place with few distractions, but once you learn the process, they can be done anywhere & anytime. An interesting & useful side-effect of these exercises is a feeling of peace or relaxation, exactly what your beast will despise. Learn to go slowly & take your time, becoming more aware of just what is going on in your mind. The beast will attempt to distract you
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but realize once again that this is just the nature of the beast & you must persist through this if you want to win.
Fear is a huge blocking agent that needs to be addressed directly….in the moment & in a straightforward manner!….Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Pam has entered the theater & is waiting for direction. For now, she is the student. I speak to her through a self-hypnotic image of teacher-Self. Pam will come to know this image through my spoken words & then I will ask her to invite the image to enter herSELF, gently merging & then allowing her to play out her very own teacher-in-residence.
The teacher speaks from the stage of the theater.
Be still now…..in fact, become very still & connect with what it feels like to be so still. Self-power exists in stillness & so practicing the art of inner & outer stillness is a requirement for managing all aspects of life. The level to which you can become still, as well as your ability to do so quickly, will determine the quaility of your SELFwork.
Quiet assertiveness….this is the mindstate for managing not only your fearfulSELF, but for any & all emotional transactions, be they with yourSELF or with others. Remember that you are a walking billboard…..SELF advertising….what you present is what you will receive. Present fear & then receive fear. Present confidence & then receive confidence. Present “quiet assertiveness” & observe what happens.
The workshop group watches in the theater of their own minds, each mind presenting different images that will program their own minds in positive ways. It makes no difference that this is about Pam & her issues. Positive progression is something everyone can experience from either reading, speaking or thinking about another. Each group member has now determined their own inner teacher. We are continuous students, learning at every turn. The same happens with the written word or spokenWORD on CD or mp3.
Pam is asked to pay attention to the scene being acted out on the stage. In this scene she is involved in issues that lead to future scenes, including bingeing & purging. There are relationship issues, as well as financial worries. She is able to see/sense the progression of these. Her emotional childSELF is wearing a worry/fear teeshirt & it’s clear that neither of these work to change the issues. Something else is needed. Now, Pam is being given authority to change the scene, the script & anything else that she chooses. Her teacher gives suggestions & Pam gets to try out different avenues. As this occurs, the forward scenes automatically change as well.
As the workshop group observes Pam’s experience in the theater, they are programming their own minds for positive change, as well as building new creative techniques. All are integrating the image of TeacherSELF. In the future, this image will present alternative ways to solve everyday issues, bringing the participants to a higher level of performance & SELFcare.
“We all know the importance of getting to the “center” of things or the “heart” of the matter, but sometimes the “center” or the “heart” isn’t where we think it is”….Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
I look to the workshop group. A hand is raised, almost apologetically, already giving me insight to the questioner. Appreciating the seriousness of this action, knowing I’m about to receive an opportunity to enter someone’s private realm, I move from judgment, quieting my own mind in preparation. All questions are important. For many, it’s not easy to “speak out loud” & especially to ask a question because this “opening” allows others to peak into quiet corners, perhaps some of them hidden for years. This is the path to the “crux.”
The questioner, Pam has bulimia but has been binge/purge free since starting the workshop three days ago. How I answer her question & whether I allow others to engage may make the difference between Pam’s future success & self-management. I take another hypnotic breath, taking myself to my highest realm of awake-awareness. This is where my ability to see & sense is at it’s keenest; a place where my own subconscious mind will meet Pam’s, giving me even more information than she verbalizes. Her apologetic hand movements have already clued me as to her mind-state…..cautious & fearful but wanting to go forward into recovery.
As teachers/writers, what we say, be it written or spoken word will have an impact on those who are the receivers. Such is the power of communication, that even words that don’t appear to be profound on the surface can change lives dramatically…..both positively, as well as negatively.
And so, we watch what we say & live with the intention to help each other along without harming. This means staying out of “ego” & in the presence of Higher Self.
I like to think that each one of us are teachers & students at the same time. It feels good to know that each day as one goes out into the world, the power is present to help someone to change in a positive way, even if one doesn’t know & especially if one doesn’t like that person. We can all deliver positive goods….
I engage Pam’s subconscious mind to participate in opening her question, wondering what part gave her the courage to open & thanking that part through my own subconscious communication.
I’ve been binge & purge-free for three days, but I have no confidence & feel like I’m walking on the side of a cliff where at any moment, the wind can blow me off. How can I help myself?
Pam’s question is beautifully decorated in metaphor, already setting the stage for the next part of her work. I notice the other participants are fully engaged, most likely having felt the same in their own life experiences, be it related to disorderly eating, or other addictions or destructive habits.
I ask the entire group to participate as “observing practitioners” as Pam self-explores, looking for her “crux”.
Let’s all become still now & sense what stillness feels like….in your body….in your mind. And now, become ever more still. I give each of you a dial that you can turn to the left to become more still than before. Go down as deep as you like & enjoy the sensation of deepening. If you prefer to utilize visual images, perhaps you can go down those stairs over there, or float in the sea on that beautiful raft, counting yourself down from five to one.
Everyone but Pam will stay over there & Pam will come with me now. Here is the key to your daily path. Open the gate now & step onto the path. This area contains all of the patterns you have developed & that usually play out in your mind & body on any given day. Each pattern is accompanied by the usual emotions that participate in the particular pattern. Take your time & walk around your daily path, paying particular attention to the patterns…… & when you have finished, I’d like you to return to where I’m waiting for you.
It’s easy to see where your daily stress’ are located & also to know what they are about. I’d like you to ask the patterns to line up according to their level of stress…..highest in the front….lowest in the rear. Go ahead now…. Now ask your binge-purge childSELF to show you which ones are the most bothersome to her. And when you know that, ask that pattern to come forth, complete with all emotional states.
Pam chooses her relationship with her boyfriend, as well as her financial worries. Her mind shows her that these are holding hands, meaning they are related. There is a definite conflict here. She tells me that she can solve her financial difficulties IF her boyfriend moves back into her house but she doesn’t love him & wants to enjoy her home on her own. Her boyfriend senses her weakness & continues to press the issue.
This situation most likely forms the “crux” or the center of Pam’s eating disorder. There may be more to this, but it is close enough for Pam to start working in positive ways.
I’m asking Pam to ask her binge-purge childSELF to state what she needs. The child is silent & this distresses Pam, who assumes that the childSELF doesn’t want to be better. I explain that this is not necessarily so, but even if “she” doesn’t want to be better, this is not the choice of the childSELF. This is the choice of Pam’s mature/adult & Higher Self. Pam needs to stand in the shoes of this part of her & to bring discipline to the childSELF. In order to do this, Pam must practice in the theater of her mind.
I indicate where the theater is located on her path…. we’ll go over there & begin in the next blog.
“Goals move forward & become self-generating when powered by consistent “Hot Desire”. Everyone has the ability to key into this remarkable emotional state….. & the daily practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis will take you there”….Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
It’s common to hang out in our emotional state of choice. For some, this is can be more towards “neutral”, but for others, it can be a low or even moderate negative state. These include irritable, depressed, disinterested, bored, anxious, uptight or even belligerent. Lucky is the individual who wears a daily emotional coat of happy, peaceful, joyful, loving, pleased & the like. It’s much easier for the latter to climb up further, so as to experience the powerful, creative emotion of Hot Desire.
LIVING IN NEGATIVE’S
Living in the negative areas presents many challenges, not only within the Self, but with others as well. In addition, when one area of life is in disarray, the owner doesn’t have to look far to find another. Emotional disorder & stress go hand in hand, bringing imbalance to the mind & body & keeping one far away from the helpful & creative subconscious mind. Addictions become easy answers for managing the discomfort. Here’s an unhappy thought; we can grow to like the negatives, even to love them & like with other bad relationships, they can be all-consuming. It’s like being locked in a prison of sorts & hiding the key from yourSelf. However, we can choose to stop.
It’s imperative to be able to locate emotional states “in the moment”, in order to release them. And, they must be released before being able to change one’s emotional experience to positive & then to go up the ladder to Hot Desire. I call these “emotional transactions”; trading one for the other….hopefully transacting for one of higher value!
Relax into the moment & release your body stress. If you have been following the workshop blog, you know how to do this. If not, pretend magnets are pulling you down into the chair where you are resting. Here’s a dial that you can turn to the left, thereby increasing the magnet pull. Feel how good it feels to have the body experience the magnetism. Stay with this for a moment or so. Next, notice that a child is standing by your side & the child is wearing a teeshirt with his/her name on it. This is your emotional childSelf & the shirt states your presenting emotion. If the child is big, the emotion is most likely big as well.
Sometimes we have multiple emotions & so many children may be present. Aida, one of the workshop participants is noticing that “inadequate, tearful & uptight” are standing together. Cary sees that “hopeless & helpless” are holding hands. Gina senses “relaxed & focused”.
Negative-based emotions are heading for the light. It’s down the path over there. Image it. If you can’t bring an image into your mind, just think it. The emotions sit under the light & the rays fill their bodies. Black drops fall from their fingertips. The emotions become smaller. Sense or think all of this.
In this moment you are planting a subconscious mind program. Positive emotions are now coming to the light & filling, becoming bigger. Image or think about this happening. Practice with both genres of emotions, even if they aren’t yours. A positive subconscious mind program will be placed anyway.
Coming from behind the light is an image of a powerful, positive emotion. Read the teeshirt. This is “Hot Desire.” Hot Desire is carrying a book & presenting it to you. Sit down on the bench over there & place the book on your lap. Notice that your name is on the cover & that you are the author. The book is filled with “Hot Desire” experiences, some coming from your own mind library & others coming from things you have seen, or gifted from people you know who have had this genre of experience.
Open the book & locate a “Hot Desire” image. Each image tells a story. Listen, as the story is “remembered” to you. ( This is not a grammatical error….but a special way of playing with the inner mind.) This is a time when you felt a huge desire for something….. it’s BIG. Sense it & when you have connected with the “sensing”, tap on the picture gently. As you tap the picture will open & you will now sense yourSelf in the middle of the Hot Desire experience. The pulse of the desire is over there. Touch it. Next, touch your heart. You are transferring the sensation to your major pump organ. Sense it inside of you. If this seems odd to you, just play with it. This is a game of sorts, but your subconscious mind believes “everything” you are doing. You are busy capturing the emotional state of Hot Desire.
If you like, go through the book, becoming aware & then tapping open different Hot Desire experiences. It’s vital to sense them, so do take the time to do this. Each time, find the button & transfer the sensing to your heart. You can enter the experiences of others & make it your own. Think about others who you have known to have these experiences. For example, Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Kwan….anyone you know or have heard about that truly, truly wanted something!! These desires are very hot & it is because of their high temperature/emotional programming content, that these individuals can ride through & stay motivated for long periods of time.
You now have these “rememberings” inside of yourSelf & I’d like you to take an image of something you truly want & hold it in the palm of your hand, just as if it were a living model. Next, touch your heart & then sprinkle the Hot Desire that is stored there right onto your working image & observe it “firing up.” This is an emotional transaction & one of great value.
The level of your desire determines the quality, as well as the creativity of your outcomes. So…..stoke the fire!…..Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
I’m waiting for the workshop group, wondering about the overall level of desire that’s coming to greet me. This will determine how I go about designing the classwork, as well as the metaphors I’ll choose. Every class is different & even though there are always participants with a high level of desire to learn new things, it’s rare for the whole group to be so invigorated.
Usually, the desire level is low to medium. This brings me to the point regarding teaching or writing for adult learners. While it’s vital to strike a balance, one wants the learners to leave the session or workshop with at least a high-level desire to carry on what they have experienced, but perhaps more importantly, to feel very strongly about traveling to an even higher level. This is my goal here.
I like teaching & writing for adults. Each individual has been on a unique journey & most are willing to open their luggage & share, especially when the environment is conducive to safe exploration. It’s my responsibility to provide that because I know the more people are willing to open & share, the better the workshop.
Teaching or writing from the position of true living experiences in the moment, is sure to raise the level of desire in each participant. It truly doesn’t matter if questions or life experiences take us off the track I’ve planned. It’s my responsibility to take what I’ve been given, to mold it into positive teaching material, perhaps reframing it to carry a much-needed message, now embedded with real, living, personal power.
Remember those “mood rings” that turned different colors, supposedly reflecting your mood? I seem to remember that “hot desire” was bright purple. Black or gray indicated “not interested.”
We all have a “standard” mood that we wake up with & maintain this for most normal experiences. We call this our personality, but it truly isn’t. It’s simply our mood of choice. On occasion, we may change it, but most of the time we wear it like an old coat.
I ask the group about their “coats”….This conversation will break the ice, build some rapport, letting me know where everyone sits in this regard.
The coats are being hung up one by one. There are 3 depressed coats, 6 high stress, 2 quiet & timid, 3 happy-go-lucky, 2 quiet & serious & 4 non-descript. This means that four people aren’t sure about their daily moods. Obviously, they are not very attentive to Self.
We always begin where we are. The idea is to move from this position to one of hot desire. Usually, this is not going to happen in one fell swoop, especially when one’s daily mood tends to be on the negative side, or not known at all. I call these low to medium negative moods & it’s easier to move from this position to one of low-positive before even considering climbing up to “hot desire.”
Believe it or not, there are people who have never experienced true, hot desire, so this can even be frightening. When people who are tense are asked to relax deeply or to experience meditation, the release of the body often catches them unaware. This can be quite un-nerving both physiologically & emotionally. Sometimes this can be perceived as “having an anxiety attack” or tears can flow, causing embarrassment. So, it’s important for me to tread carefully. My group tends to be on the low to medium negative level, so I’ll bring them into images that will take them to a low-level positive experience.
I’ll have to hunt for these experiences but I prefer for the individuals to give them to me. I mentioned earlier that it is a good idea to work with personal experiences or stories. This will be a good time to collect some of them. I don’t want anything too big. I’m only going to low-level positive. These remembrances can be found accompanying small accomplishments, either current or from childhood. In this instance, I prefer current accomplishments because the group tends to be on the somber side. This didn’t happen overnight. Since we’ve just met, I don’t think I’ll touch childhood right now.
Here are some examples that were easily gleaned from the group.
Harry sold his car last week. He felt great about it.
Sarah found out that her pain wasn’t anything serious. She felt relieved ,even joyful. Sarah was one wearing a depressed coat. Ralph received a good quarterly review at work & will receive a raise in salary. Jenna cleaned her garage, feeling a great sense of accomplishment.
While these may sound like insignificant things, they are going to be useful to the entire group because everyone can relate to these. I’ll have the group relax deeply into the moment & locate their mind screens. Next, each group member will appear with their new coat. Other members will be invited to try it on for size. One by one, each member will experience a positive shift in their own body chemistry. These are like gentle nudges, taking them out of their own old coats, into something more positive, but non-threatening. By the end of the exercise, the mood of the group will have changed.
Soon, we will be able to climb up to a medium positive mood while experiencing that in both body and mind. Hopefully, we will ascend to “hot desire.” Sometimes we have this within ourselves, but most of the time we don’t. And so, we need to get it from somewhere else.
I asked the workshop group if anyone had ongoing problems with anxiety, panic, or unrelenting physical or emotional stress. Every hand in the room went up.…Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Imagery & its visual counterpart are natural skills that people utilize all the time. Children, with their vivid imaginations, work beautifully with both visualization & other forms of imagery. However, our general education often interferes with these innate skills & so we must go back & learn to improve our abilities to visualize, to image, as well as to increase, control & direct the same in the direction of the goal or desired change.
Imagery is everything. It is the crux of how we experience our bodies, environment, our relationships to others or to ourselves, as well as to our spiritual life. We image constantly. Unfortunately, the most common imagery consists of negative, non-trusting, insecure, failure-orientated, worrisome, highly judgmental inner audio & visuals. These images are often followed by the behaviors that come to match the blueprints, thereby reinforcing the negative images. Our goal is not to teach imagery, but to change & transform existing images into ones that form the basis for high-level living and health.
We buy inner programming every moment & our minds do what they are programmed to do. The work you have been doing in Awareness Meditation has allowed you to see, as well as hear some of this programming in the process. Observing the thoughts, emotions, listening to the inner audio programs & watching the ongoing DVD has given you the opportunity to see first hand how this automatic pilot programming has been working for most of your life. Now you have the tools to manage this programming & with visualization and imagery, you can actively change the DVD, thereby changing the outcomes not only in your mind but in your body as well.
Images are stored chemically, not only in the mind but also in the entire body. When they are recalled consciously, or unconsciously, the chemical program is replayed, often times enhanced in some way. We store many types of images including those involving all the senses; visual, hearing, feeling, taste & smell. For example, certain perfumes bring back remembrances of long ago, as does the smell of iodine or anesthetic. The smell of baking bread can evoke happiness, hunger, or even sadness if it is associated with a painful stored memory.
As we learn to observe inner programming, noticing what is helpful or not helpful as we go towards our goals, we can choose to make changes. Awareness is the very first key. It is most interesting to observe the patterns of thoughts, as well as the automatic responses we play out, sometimes in response to emotions or even relationships.
For example, some people play the victim or the judge when in the company of certain people. Start to become aware, encouraging yourself to notice this type of auto-response. Some patterns are very ingrained, but as you practice more & more Awareness Meditation Tools, you will bring these to conscious awareness, where they can be assessed. It is important to stay detached & non-judgmental as possible during this awareness work. The tools of Interactive Self-Hypnosis will make this easier. Remember to congratulate yourself for practicing these techniques. The subconscious mind loves to be congratulated & will be motivated to repeat this activity for you.
Another benefit of imagery I’ve not discussed is the actual change in the brain structures from this type of practice. Research indicates that a person who actively practices imagery develops more brain cells & more neuronal connections. We find an improved ability to concentrate, as well as retrieve stored information whether it is long or short term. Learning appears to accelerate & the individual is able to accomplish more with less efforting.
WORKING WITH IMAGERY is great fun. In this section, we will discuss the specific work we will be doing with images in the accompanying audio programs. The more we practice the better we get, and the better we get, the bigger the rewards.
We will be focusing on awareness tools, in and out of the workshop. We want to bring awareness to and enhance all physical senses; sight, smell, touch, taste, as well as the emotions. Practice during the day. Take some time to focus on each sense. For example, eat your lunch on your own in a quiet place, noticing the taste and feel of each movement & food involved in this activity. Sometimes it helps to close off one of the other senses, such as smelling the bath soap with your eyes closed. Taste the cheese without conversation, or close the eyes at the same time and feel it in your mouth. What does popcorn feel like as opposed to cheese? Notice we are not talking about taste, but feel. Most of us are highly visual or auditory. Smaller percentages are kinesthetic, or feeling. It is good to know what is your favorite sense, and then work with imagery to enhance the others.
As we begin to work with images we will begin experiencing them in new ways. We will go inside our pencil making it very big. We will go inside the walls of our house, and see what it looks like to look out into the room from inside the wall. We will practice seeing pieces of familiar furniture, feeling what it feels like to sit on it, stand on it & walk around it. This is the practice of 3-D imagery & is a very powerful tool in mind development.
We will be working on changing some of these images. In the Workshop we have a special camera for making images smaller, & then we can actually experience them in that size. Imagine sitting on a familiar chair that is now less than half the size. We can make things bigger, brighter, louder, softer. We can put things outside the houses that are inside and then do just the opposite. These exercises work to stimulate various sections of the brain, thereby changing their chemistry and increasing the ability to think and create. They help us remove boundaries & open us to change. We see what appeared to be impossible is now possible & choices we perhaps never considered can be seen as workable. New ideas seem to come forth with less effort.
We go on to experience being in our own body, rafting down the veins and arteries, looking around various parts, and seeing how food, exercise, sleep, and relaxation actually play out in our cells. This is your body and no one else’s. You are unique in this world & have a responsibility to care for your mind and your body.
You will be working with an album filled with images. Unlike a photograph album, this one not only has visual images but remembrances of all images from your past and those already pasted in for your future. As we work with this album we can re-experience and choose to change those which are acting as inhibitors to your goals. We practice with easy ones such as an image of any apple. We can make it taste even more apple-like, or experience eating an apple with no taste at all. We always make sure to leave our apple tasting just right!
We practice smelling, tasting, touching, and experiencing. There is an area for placing new images that have not been experienced and practicing with them right there. We even get to practice what it feels like to be someone else, and even someone whom we never met such as Einstein. Not a bad image, especially when taking a math test!
The practice of imagery makes life richer. It is like turning up the color and intensity of the things we have at our disposal to enjoy. It also gives us the tools for diminishing those things that are not beneficial to our happiness and health, and because imagery can be very specific, we don’t have to diminish everything, but just the area that is bothersome.
WORKING WITH IMAGINOLOGY allows us to utilize imagery in a larger area. The new images now take on life and action that can be designed and managed thereby giving power, control and encouraging the development of creativity. We seem to make changes in an effortless way. This process is free of judgment and criticism, and allows us to move confidently and stress-free through areas what may have caused difficulties in the past.
The audio programs connected to this workshop will enhance your inherent ability to design personalized metaphors for change. New skills will be developed allowing your subconscious mind to come forth with its own suggestions. Our own suggestions and problem-solving capabilities are always more powerful than those presented by someone else.
When we practice imaginology we see ourselves in the action, and can make it exactly as we would like or even better. Most of us live in a small inner world, rather like a corral. We want to learn to open the gates and go out to explore. We want to put old fears and negative programming aside. As we practice with these programs, you will begin to notice when the automatic negative programming is blocking you from expanding your horizons.
There are times when it feels good to stay inside a hypnotic negative addiction hole or even an emotional state, such as anger, hate, anxiety or depression. Wake up & pay attention to what’s going on….are you looking for someone to rescue you….to get you to stop either by love or by responding back in a negative way? If you are….it’s time to wake up & to break that dangerous pattern.….Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
We are all familiar with the above……including myself. People are often surprised when I tell them about my negative holes, as if I shouldn’t have them. Of course I do & many of them well-etched. Today was one of those days when an old, well-etched pattern tried to pull me into the hole. It was like I had one leg in & one leg out, tuned in but not submerged.
I was witness to that part of myself that doesn’t get to come out very often, saying “wow…sock it to him. This is fun!” I was keenly aware of the dicotomy of mySelf, wanting to stay in the negative hole place, but realizing the danger. I know what addiction is about & this is simply another facet of it. I know how the inner game works. I play around in the hole & then pay the piper later on, perhaps desiring or compulsing for junk food or wine. Then follows the tiredness of the body, depression of the mind & spending time trying to fix the mess I created. Not the way I had planned on spending the day.
Child Behavior – Demanding or blackmailing another to come to the rescue OR staying in wait. This is like waiting for a bus that never arrives, usually followed by a ‘victim party.”
Mature Behavior – Best choice….. rescue yourself.
Wisdom & Acceptance – Holes are common place in our lives & activate on occasion like volcanos.
Knowledge – The quicker one exits the hole, the less power it has in future eruptions.
No matter if it’s addiction or a negative emotion, it’s a common
failing to want to be rescued. Standing up & taking responsibility seems much more difficult, but just on the surface, for indeed, it is just procrastination & lack motivation that keeps you static.
Perhaps like Jared, you have even seen yourself bargaining or blackmailing in order to get what you want. Not a pretty picture & not a pattern you want to etch.
Jared, a patient of mine, is an almost 40 year old business executive who is on the fringe of a divorce. “I have a permanent residence in my hole. As I’ve come to examine it with Interactive Self-Hypnosis, I find that it has room, rather like a house. In a way, I like it here. That truly frightens me. How could I actually like to be submerged in my anger, anxiety & depression?
The windows in my “hole house” are painted black, so I can’t see outside. There is nothing to break my hypnosis. I wait here for someone to push their way through my door & rescue me. I’ve been waiting a long time, but no one seems to have sufficient power to push the door open OR perhaps they don’t want to bother with me. I really can’t blame them.”
Jared would benefit from individual therapy, but even without it, he can begin to make progress by taking the mature approach. This includes becoming aware of who needs to push the door open & to pull him out……..himSelf. In deep imagery he can achieve this & most likely he will need to do this each & every time he senses that he is back in his “hole house” because it is deeply etched.
I’d like Jared to disassociate from the image of the house, perhaps by placing it in a diorama or model. In deep relax he can see/sense what goes on here & begin to effect changes. I suggest he put in new windows, paint the interior & exterior & decorate to his taste. I’d like him to consider re-naming the rooms, designing them in a positive creative way.
It will also help him to notice that he is not the hole, nor the house, nor his emotions. We’ll use the child-image for emotions. In this way he can be the mature adult & manage the child-emotions, just as if he were their positive father-figure. If he needs a mind-mentor, he can choose one from real life. It may or may not be his own father. This would depend on Jared’s experience with his own parents. But, in the theater of the mind, the subconscious mind will accept whoever Jared chooses to help him in this creative endeavor.