There are times when it feels good to stay inside a hypnotic negative addiction hole or even an emotional state, such as anger, hate, anxiety or depression. Wake up & pay attention to what’s going on….are you looking for someone to rescue you….to get you to stop either by love or by responding back in a negative way? If you are….it’s time to wake up & to break that dangerous pattern.….Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
We are all familiar with the above……including myself. People are often surprised when I tell them about my negative holes, as if I shouldn’t have them. Of course I do & many of them well-etched. Today was one of those days when an old, well-etched pattern tried to pull me into the hole. It was like I had one leg in & one leg out, tuned in but not submerged.
I was witness to that part of myself that doesn’t get to come out very often, saying “wow…sock it to him. This is fun!” I was keenly aware of the dicotomy of mySelf, wanting to stay in the negative hole place, but realizing the danger. I know what addiction is about & this is simply another facet of it. I know how the inner game works. I play around in the hole & then pay the piper later on, perhaps desiring or compulsing for junk food or wine. Then follows the tiredness of the body, depression of the mind & spending time trying to fix the mess I created. Not the way I had planned on spending the day.
Child Behavior – Demanding or blackmailing another to come to the rescue OR staying in wait. This is like waiting for a bus that never arrives, usually followed by a ‘victim party.”
Mature Behavior – Best choice….. rescue yourself.
Wisdom & Acceptance – Holes are common place in our lives & activate on occasion like volcanos.
Knowledge – The quicker one exits the hole, the less power it has in future eruptions.
No matter if it’s addiction or a negative emotion, it’s a common
failing to want to be rescued. Standing up & taking responsibility seems much more difficult, but just on the surface, for indeed, it is just procrastination & lack motivation that keeps you static.
Perhaps like Jared, you have even seen yourself bargaining or blackmailing in order to get what you want. Not a pretty picture & not a pattern you want to etch.
Jared, a patient of mine, is an almost 40 year old business executive who is on the fringe of a divorce. “I have a permanent residence in my hole. As I’ve come to examine it with Interactive Self-Hypnosis, I find that it has room, rather like a house. In a way, I like it here. That truly frightens me. How could I actually like to be submerged in my anger, anxiety & depression?
The windows in my “hole house” are painted black, so I can’t see outside. There is nothing to break my hypnosis. I wait here for someone to push their way through my door & rescue me. I’ve been waiting a long time, but no one seems to have sufficient power to push the door open OR perhaps they don’t want to bother with me. I really can’t blame them.”
Jared would benefit from individual therapy, but even without it, he can begin to make progress by taking the mature approach. This includes becoming aware of who needs to push the door open & to pull him out……..himSelf. In deep imagery he can achieve this & most likely he will need to do this each & every time he senses that he is back in his “hole house” because it is deeply etched.
I’d like Jared to disassociate from the image of the house, perhaps by placing it in a diorama or model. In deep relax he can see/sense what goes on here & begin to effect changes. I suggest he put in new windows, paint the interior & exterior & decorate to his taste. I’d like him to consider re-naming the rooms, designing them in a positive creative way.
It will also help him to notice that he is not the hole, nor the house, nor his emotions. We’ll use the child-image for emotions. In this way he can be the mature adult & manage the child-emotions, just as if he were their positive father-figure. If he needs a mind-mentor, he can choose one from real life. It may or may not be his own father. This would depend on Jared’s experience with his own parents. But, in the theater of the mind, the subconscious mind will accept whoever Jared chooses to help him in this creative endeavor.