No matter what you want to do in life, it is imperative to have good emotional management skills. While these don’t come easy, it is more than worth the time to develop this aspect of your self-care. I’m often asked how long it takes to change. My answer is this…..no time at all. You can change right now in this moment…. Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Let me suggest some simple, but powerful images for managing emotions. This is the third step of this program. Here we are working with imaginology or active imagery, picturing emotional states as little children wearing tee shirts with their names on the front.
Each child-emotion has their own personalized box of crayons for coloring moment- to- moment experiences. This type of active imagery invites you to disassociate from your emotional state, be it positive or negative. As you separate from the child-emotion, you become your adult-self….the leader. From this position of self-leadership, you are able to image, as well as physically sense what is going on in any given moment, in your thoughts, as well as in your body communication system & how these connect to the child-emotion. Now, instead of an automatic pilot program with its attached emotions dictating your actions, you are taking your rightful leadership position as the writer-director-producer of your own life, deciding what you want, as well as what you don’t want.
From this self-leadership position, you are in the perfect position or mind-state to edit old subconscious mind programs, including the re-education of your emotional mind states. We’ll practice this in a moment. This is all key in bringing order to your life, managing addictions & disorderly eating patterns. In the past, before you began paying attention & disassociating from your child-emotion, you simply lit a cigarette, poured a cup of coffee, or put a piece of candy in your mouth in answer to stored or momentary stress.
The art of disassociation also makes it clear that you are not your emotions. They are outside or separate from you. For most of us this is a tremendous relief. This view allows us to forgive ourselves, as well as to have some self-compassion. Emotions are simply a part of us that needs management, even if they are acting out in a positive way. You’ll come to understand more about this later on.
Remember, emotions color experiences all day long. Sometimes the colors work well & other times not so well. On occasion the crayon colors may be too heavy, other times too light. And if the child-emotion holds the crayon too tight, or presses too hard, the crayon can break. You might experience this as a complete loss of control of your emotional self.
I’m Italian & from the time I was a baby, everyone around me was highly emotional. My base-line emotions tend to be quite high. When my food is out of order & sugar intake is up, I can feel the intensity of the usual base-line emotions go much higher. I’ve been improving my food intake, but still find that I get into trouble with my emotions. Is it possible to change my reactions?
It’s important to understand that we are not our emotions. Emotions are like visitors who knock at the door. You can choose who enters, as well as the decorum you expect or need in any moment. Remember that each moment is separate unto itself, just like each breath is different from the one before.
If you were to catch a moment & look at it under a magnifying glass, here’s what you would see. There would be a goal fragment, something you want & it would be colored by your emotions. Look closely at these. Some may be positive & goal-supportive, while others may be negative & goal-distracting. The emotional crayons or goal-coloring is interpreted by your subconscious mindas as something you want, even if it is not what you want or working against you.
Go back to the same moment again. Begin to assess. What does your goal look like? See how the fragment fits into the entire goal. It’s rather like a puzzle part. Now consider what emotions and/or crayons are best in this moment? You might have to give up some automatic pilot programming if you want the goal. This is maturity & the desire to see your outcomes very clearly.
Just imagine how much power you have given UP to your emotions over the years & still tend to give!
Think about today.
Can you locate any moment or group of moments forming a remembered experience when your emotional children were in charge & not your mature self? Sit back and view this happening on your mind screen? How would you rate this production? The library of your mind is filled with these experiences.
The good news is that you now know how to release these programs. When you climb up to step four, you will be able to re-edit these, programming your mind for what you want instead.
SUPER PUNCH EMOTIONS
“Super-Punch” Negative Emotional Crayons Include…. Fear – Anger – Sad – Guilt – Shame -Victim
These familiar emotions can be destructive, as well as dangerous to the body & mind. They change body chemistry leading to stress-induced disease states. They also present themselves in disguise, so beware… Keep in mind that they are contagious, infecting your life and those around you.
“Super-Punch” Positive Emotional Crayons Include…. Gratitude – Love – Forgiveness – Compassion – Peace
These are familiar, but often strangers in the middle of our daily stress-collecting experiences. Be sure to hunt them out, actively inviting them into your life. Not only do they feel good, but they also produce healing hormones. You will also find that these are contagious as well, only this is a positive source of infection.
Most of us are not in touch with our emotions, especially the subtle ones. Emotions can present themselves in a clear fashion, making them easier to identify or name, or they can be muted.. Some trigger big physical sensations, while others tend to play under the surface, but they are there if you look.
Some are regulars and play on automatic pilot. Others are new to a particular experience, often surprising you with their outbursts & connected thought patterns.
You can invite emotions through simple conversation, so it is important to watch your patterns. As you begin to notice the emotions you entertain, you may be surprised.
Victim is one of those that is so common place, it reminds me of the flu season. Pay attention to how people tend to moan and groan, even about simple things. Ask the next person you know “how they are doing” Don’t be surprised if you meet up with the victim emotion. Listen to the tonality. It can be quite dramatic.